Feeling A Little Sad


My Sister at 18.

I have a sister and truth to tell
I do not know her very well
as she is ten years older than me
and growing up was a mystery
as I was too young to join in her games
and her friends to me were just names
she was the youngest of the older three
two brothers and her and then came me
as we were the family so urbane
Barbara Eileen was her given name
but we called her Peggy or Peg for short
how that name stuck I cannot report
she was a soldier during the war
in the ATS but who’s keeping score
the years pass and time moved on
married was she to a Scotsman name Ron
both happy to raise a family
two kids so proud for all to see
Jim and Sheila were their names
and babysitting for me was the game
as I lived with her for a short while
when my own life was in a turmoil
my share of life that I could do
as anything else I had no clue
time passed as it it always does
as we lived our lives without any fuss
then to America I did go
my sister and family also did show
along with my brother whose family and wife
had followed me there to make a good life
and as time passed some of them died
until the only ones left alive
of the adult members of the original clan
were my sister and I in all of the land
my sister now is ninety two
and until last year had every clue
and apart from being hard of hearing
was as just as sharp and just as endearing
and then this Christmas as we usually do
I called my sister which was long overdue
as in the space of the past few months
she had become confused her brain that once
was sharp and quick and was no dunce
had slipped into its senior mode
and nothing that was said would goad
her brain to react in a positive way
remaining firmly in the past
and conversation would not last
at least in anything that we could share
and even though I gave it a try
my sister did not know why
I had called or who I was
and conversation was at a loss
I spoke with Gary with whom she lives
who is married to Sheila one of the kids
and he sadly mentioned to me
that she needs to be in a Facility
that understands her very needs
and can give her the help to succeed
to live out what remains of her life
in comfort and without any strife
surrounded by caregivers trained in the ways
of those whose brain does not behave
in the way it used to do
like a poor soul that has no clue
I hung up the phone feeling very sad
for my sister whose mind has gone bad
and wondering if that is in store
any reason can I expect more
or will life be kind as I end my days
with my brain intact in so many ways
enough to know when it is time
for the life to run out of my body and mind.

Written 12/28/2018





My Sister


My Sister at 20 years old.I talked to my sister today. She lives in Florida with her Daughter Sheila and her Husband Gary as she has for the last probably twenty years or more. Every year, we try to talk around the Christmas season our way of staying in touch. Neither of us can die because we have this annual ritual that neither of us can break. We have not seen each other since they all moved to Florida and although I keep saying that this is the year and I am going to make that trip, so far it hasn’t happened.

My sisters name is Barbara Eileen but for some reason has gone by Peg or Peggy her whole life. There is probably a story behind that somewhere but I have not heard it. Peg is ten years older than me which makes her ninety two (almost). She sounded upbeat when I spoke with her, getting a little hard of hearing and spends a lot of time in a wheelchair but she still has all of her faculties. No sign of any of those nasty old peoples conditions like Dementia, thank goodness. Our Mother was 94 when she died so Peg looks like she has every chance to make it that far with any luck. To keep herself busy, she does a lot of knitting. Being ten years older than me, she actually participated in World War 2 and joined the ATS serving as a truck driver. She made it to Europe but not on the front line as back then, women were not allowed anywhere close to the fighting. How times have changed. Following the end of the war, she came back and married a Scotsman and they raised two kids, a boy and a girl. They also volunteered to let me live with them for a few years during another unsettled time in my crazy upbringing for which, later on as I matured, I was forever grateful.

Now, sixty six years later, we talk on the phone several times a year and reminisce of days gone by when life was so much simpler and we were both younger and in good health. Ah, those were the days. If only we could wind back the clock…

I wrote a similar piece a couple of years ago which can also read by following this link.

Written 12/27/2017

To My Sister.


Peg at 20

Peg at 20

My sister called the other day
just wanting to chat and pass away
the time, as Christmas is drawing near
and this is when every year
we write or call to say “Hello”
and make inquiries of each others health
and catch up on our lives so small
because apart we can tell it all.

I have not seen her for many a year
and in my thoughts she is so dear
to meet seems like an impossible task
for the distance is long and our time is short
and to travel so far will come to naught
as she in Florida now resides
with me in Texas, the distance divides.

My sister is ten years older than me
our Mum lived until she was ninety three
we are both hoping in our own way
that we too shall live to a ripe old age
I shall be eighty in just a few days
and my sister ninety at the start of May
as Mother lived as long as she
if we have her genes, maybe will we?

Heck, if we are truly blessed
and we have our Mothers genes for old age
and both of us as we do now
living our lives as best we know how
knowing that neither has a choice
in this matter we have no voice
when the Angels come looking for us
our souls to take as we turn to dust.

Alas, we cannot pick and choose
instead we live by making the best
of whatever time that we have left
her with her family warm and close
and me with my pets who I choose the most
each very happy in our own different way
living our lives from day to day.

When for us the time is up
whether it be my sister or me
we both know we have lived long lives
doing our best this world to survive
sharing ourselves that others may see
though far apart for many a year
we both hold each other so very dear.

Francis at 20

Francis at 20

My thoughts are with you Sister. Happy Holidays.