Retired from the University of Texas and too old to play soccer anymore. Now, in the twilight of his years, time is spent writing in this blog, hiking and exploring Texas Parks, photography, working out, gardening and tending to the five ponds he built .
Thinking about days gone by sometimes makes me want to cry remembering things from the past of all of the times that did not last as memories are just what they are a fleeting moment like a shooting star a tick in time in our busy lives lasting as long as the mind survives each one replaced by something new created each moment as our minds construe slipping along from thing to thing understanding what out eyes do bring back to the brain a very safe place and another memory is now locked in space for how to describe what memories are records of our past viewed from afar the problem is that we have no choice on what to remember we have no voice so happy and sad good times and bad are all there before us to drive us all mad as we torment ourselves as we wonder why if only I had, a recurring cry but we cannot change things in the past and can only hope that our memories last for time has a habit of clearing the mind and memories fade and we no longer can find as the years pass by it is hard to recall though the memories we have are so plentiful.
I’m running out of things to do and running out of things to write for the past few days I have spent indoors the weather being the cause of my plight it has been cold and wet during those days with temperatures close to freezing at night and not getting much warmer in any way enough to keep me indoors out of sight my poetical genius is sorely stressed with trying to find things to write and getting those words into a rhyme is proving much harder more like a fight I really should go and work out as exercise could make things alright give the muscles a stretch and blood to the brain and tone up the body and make everything tight my mind is not really in the mood to push the body and so despite the fact that I am gaining weight my mind cannot act so forthright instead I will think of other things to try to keep the body tight and I need to end this silly rhyme much to everyone’s delight.
Sitting here looking out at the view wondering what I can do as the skies are grey and the temperature cold as winter tries to keep its hold from sixty five degrees two days ago this morning we have had some snow albeit just the faintest of traces not like some of the other places where it is measured by the foot anything less and the point is moot with the temperature around thirty six degrees enough to freeze the skin off my knees and make me put on longer pants or maybe just to take a chance the temperature inside of the house is seventy five and as warm as a mouse so I think that inside is where I will stay as outside I do not need today.
Another birthday has come and gone just as it did last year I hope that I can carry on and next years will also appear for each birthday represents a date of time that is passing away never ever to be regained time lost with each passing day I suppose that lost is not the right word as memories we have gained in all of those years that are now gone none have ever been the same each giving us a glimpse of wonders good and bad as we go through life some happy and others sad I have been on this earth for eighty three years with all of it’s ups and downs and I would like to see so many more before the end is found how many more birthdays will I see how many years to add how much more of Nature to enjoy and memories both good and bad of one thing I am very sure no matter what the end the life I have lived is mine alone and for this I would like it extend if I could ever do it again many changes I would make but only in the way I lived not the person to forsake for that man turned out alright the best that he could be just an ordinary working guy enjoying life’s mysteries.
Sitting here with the rain outside limiting my action is that a voice I hear that gives me satisfaction and it’s not from someone else but I hear it from within telling me it is time to write but where do I begin I could write about the New Year but that’s already done with blogs galore in the fore espousing words as one or about the rain that falls harder than before hard enough to stop me from going out my door but the rain is old news and it’s time for something new but so far my brain is dead and doesn’t have a clue I could reminisce of the year gone by but that is somebody’s news or of the things I want to try many of which are new many though are very old and I have tried them all before and all of my good intentions have floated out the door I have some resolutions so I could talk about them one of which is to use the gym which is just around the bend not far at all from my house a short drive it will take the exercise is what I need the pounds I then can slate and to cut back on my eating to help towards that score of one hundred and fifty pounds and not a kilo more that’s only seventeen pounds to lose most of which is fat to replace it with the muscle that is hidden under that but I am a man obsessed with losing as much as I can so hiking the trails as I like to do is all a part of that plan now all I have to do is find the will to move and put the plan in action and get into the groove of exercising three times a week to build the muscles more even though I know that it will make me very sore no pain no gain is how the saying goes so I just need to bite the bullet and get up on my toes work out and sweat and grunt and groan to lose a little weight although of course the bottom line the effort I just hate to eat less and work out more sounds just like a plan all it takes is that first step with everything at hand the gym is there and the larder stocked with foods of the lighter kind so the only thing I have to do is to get myself in line now that I have worked out a plan to take off all of the weight I think tomorrow I will start let’s make it a date the sooner that tomorrow comes you can be sure I will be heading back round the bend to the gymnasium door.
Lets see a quick review of the things that I want to do now that the New Year has already begun and we have started to have some fun no resolutions did I set knowing that I would soon forget at keeping them I am not very good as least not as good as I should and generally it is a waste of time and so I have drawn the line and instead will outline this years plan hiking of course of which I’m a big fan and taking pictures while I am out on the trail with words to fit I shall prevail and post in my blog for all to see how words and pictures make harmony I plan on losing a little more weight for that what I have is extra freight to carry around an unnecessary risk to eat less is the way to the fix along with working out at the gym to try to make the body more trim and regain the muscle that I have lost as old age creeps on and is really the boss so really there is a very short list one that I can easily fix take pictures and hike as far as I can write in my blog for all of my fans cut back on my eating and lose some pounds and work out at the gym myself to confound with just how easy it really can be to make 2019 my legacy.
I have a sister and truth to tell I do not know her very well as she is ten years older than me and growing up was a mystery as I was too young to join in her games and her friends to me were just names she was the youngest of the older three two brothers and her and then came me as we were the family so urbane Barbara Eileen was her given name but we called her Peggy or Peg for short how that name stuck I cannot report she was a soldier during the war in the ATS but who’s keeping score the years pass and time moved on married was she to a Scotsman name Ron both happy to raise a family two kids so proud for all to see Jim and Sheila were their names and babysitting for me was the game as I lived with her for a short while when my own life was in a turmoil my share of life that I could do as anything else I had no clue time passed as it it always does as we lived our lives without any fuss then to America I did go my sister and family also did show along with my brother whose family and wife had followed me there to make a good life and as time passed some of them died until the only ones left alive of the adult members of the original clan were my sister and I in all of the land my sister now is ninety two and until last year had every clue and apart from being hard of hearing was as just as sharp and just as endearing and then this Christmas as we usually do I called my sister which was long overdue as in the space of the past few months she had become confused her brain that once was sharp and quick and was no dunce had slipped into its senior mode and nothing that was said would goad her brain to react in a positive way remaining firmly in the past and conversation would not last at least in anything that we could share and even though I gave it a try my sister did not know why I had called or who I was and conversation was at a loss I spoke with Gary with whom she lives who is married to Sheila one of the kids and he sadly mentioned to me that she needs to be in a Facility that understands her very needs and can give her the help to succeed to live out what remains of her life in comfort and without any strife surrounded by caregivers trained in the ways of those whose brain does not behave in the way it used to do like a poor soul that has no clue I hung up the phone feeling very sad for my sister whose mind has gone bad and wondering if that is in store any reason can I expect more or will life be kind as I end my days with my brain intact in so many ways enough to know when it is time for the life to run out of my body and mind.
Stories about family, faith, friends and funnies. Pull up a chair. Grab a cup of coffee and laugh, cry, ponder and inspire about ordinary events of this wonderful, ever changing, bubbling pot that we call "every day life".