Feeling A Little Sad


My Sister at 18.

I have a sister and truth to tell
I do not know her very well
as she is ten years older than me
and growing up was a mystery
as I was too young to join in her games
and her friends to me were just names
she was the youngest of the older three
two brothers and her and then came me
as we were the family so urbane
Barbara Eileen was her given name
but we called her Peggy or Peg for short
how that name stuck I cannot report
she was a soldier during the war
in the ATS but who’s keeping score
the years pass and time moved on
married was she to a Scotsman name Ron
both happy to raise a family
two kids so proud for all to see
Jim and Sheila were their names
and babysitting for me was the game
as I lived with her for a short while
when my own life was in a turmoil
my share of life that I could do
as anything else I had no clue
time passed as it it always does
as we lived our lives without any fuss
then to America I did go
my sister and family also did show
along with my brother whose family and wife
had followed me there to make a good life
and as time passed some of them died
until the only ones left alive
of the adult members of the original clan
were my sister and I in all of the land
my sister now is ninety two
and until last year had every clue
and apart from being hard of hearing
was as just as sharp and just as endearing
and then this Christmas as we usually do
I called my sister which was long overdue
as in the space of the past few months
she had become confused her brain that once
was sharp and quick and was no dunce
had slipped into its senior mode
and nothing that was said would goad
her brain to react in a positive way
remaining firmly in the past
and conversation would not last
at least in anything that we could share
and even though I gave it a try
my sister did not know why
I had called or who I was
and conversation was at a loss
I spoke with Gary with whom she lives
who is married to Sheila one of the kids
and he sadly mentioned to me
that she needs to be in a Facility
that understands her very needs
and can give her the help to succeed
to live out what remains of her life
in comfort and without any strife
surrounded by caregivers trained in the ways
of those whose brain does not behave
in the way it used to do
like a poor soul that has no clue
I hung up the phone feeling very sad
for my sister whose mind has gone bad
and wondering if that is in store
any reason can I expect more
or will life be kind as I end my days
with my brain intact in so many ways
enough to know when it is time
for the life to run out of my body and mind.

Written 12/28/2018