Rambling Thoughts and My Latest Conundrum.


A simple question but no simple answers.

As many of you that follow my blog may know, I live in the grand old State of Texas and have done for these past 42 years. I moved here in 1977 from Upper New York State where I had resided for the previous 10 years after emigrating from England. Circumstances in the form of a divorce, a marriage and a job offer are what led me here. That plus the very cold, very snowy and very long winters.

On the whole, life has been good to me in this great State although there have been a few ups and downs, the one major one that came in the form of yet another divorce resulting in my living the life of a single man for these past 27 years. Actually, in retrospect, I was more upset at the fact that we sold our 5 acres out in the Hill Country just to move closer to town and our jobs than I was at yet again, being a single man after only 5 years at the new place. Don’t get me wrong as I really loved that woman but I also loved that place in the Hill Country where I had built a house and a horse barn and fenced it all in and would never have agreed to move if I had only known what was in the future. How many times have you heard that one before? On the other hand, a few years later, both the barn and half of the house were blown away in one of the relatively infrequent times when a tornado touched down in the Hill Country.

Being the adaptable sort of a fellow that I am, after my ex had gone, I readjusted and turned this place into my own little piece of paradise by building and maintaining five ponds complete with Koi and Goldfish. To date, four ponds remain after I took down the smallest one which was only 350 gallons, earlier this year. The other ponds ranging in size from 6000 gallons, 5000 gallons and two of about 2500 gallons each are still flourishing although, as the reader can imagine, require considerable work in both upkeep and maintenance. They tend to keep me close to home. That and the four little dogs that live with me and share my life and who are my best and I sometimes think, only friends.

Time is passing by at an alarming rate and I am fast approaching my 84 birthday. Naturally, I have slowed with age and am no longer able to play soccer which I had done for many, many years. I retired from that game when I was 72 mainly due to having a knee replaced so it has been a while. For those of you that follow my blog, you know that I have filled the gap left by not playing, “the beautiful game” by hiking the local parks and then writing about the hikes along with a multitude of pictures. Which brings me to my latest chain of thought.

Recently, my mind has turned to the future and what may be in it for me and my doggy friends. I love this house and the ponds and have wonderful and caring neighbors but both house and the ponds are increasingly making demands on my time and on my aging body to where I have been having serious thoughts about the future. My mind is on a constant merry go round as to what to do. For one thing, the house is way too big and I have rooms that are storage sheds rather than anything they were originally designed for. Amazing the amount of “stuff” one accumulates over a lifetime and that is not counting the contents of my workshop and the two real storage sheds that are outside. All are filled with hand tools of every description as over the years, I have made full use of my skills and dexterity in using these wonderful items. Then there are the bigger items like the mowers and other mechanical gadgets that I have in my posession. I love tools…

That coupled with the fact that these Texas summers are becoming brutal and I can’t stand the heat like I used to. This year has been the worst in that respect and I find that unless I have an emergency requiring my attention, I keep putting off the normal day to day projects choosing instead to stay indoors and the air conditioning. I have barely gone hiking for fear of collapsing in the heat. For those of you that are not used to hot weather and anything close to a 100 degree heat, let me remind you that our summertime overnight lows are usually around 80 degrees which for many of you is hot and sometimes even the same as your highs, depending on where you live. Without air conditioning in both our cars and our houses, life would be unbearable. On the other end of the scale, it is true that in Central Texas around Austin, our winters are mild with only the occasional frost and sometime a few snow flurries and on the whole are very easy to put up with. A few years back, I painted the outside of my house over the week of Christmas and New Years without any fear of the paint freezing or of it being too cold.

But I digress. What do I want to do for the future is the question uppermost in my mind. I have a few choices included in which and in no particular order, are as follows.

I can stay here in this house until I am either to old and feeble to look after myself and then get shipped off to an Assisted Living Home. I don’t really care for that idea as I would probably have to give up my dogs. On the other hand, I could just stay here until someone missed seeing me around and upon closer inspection, discovered that I had died here in which case they can carry me out feet first as I won’t care. In these circumstances, I have already made provision for any remaining dogs to be taken care of. In any case, those are the two obvious options.

On the other side, I could close down the ponds (or not depending on the buyer) and sell the house which would give me the freedom to do any of several different things one of which is to move into the aforementioned Assisted Living, give up my dogs and become just another old fogy waiting to die. Not very appealing especially as I am still very active.

Another thing that I could do after or probably before selling the house would be to buy a Motorhome and fill it with whatever dogs are still alive and drive off into the wild blue yonder and follow the good weather where it is not too hot and definitely not too cold. I hate the cold more than the heat after spending 10 years in the Upper New York State winters. And, when I can no longer drive, find a place to park and live out the rest of my days as I wait for the inevitable.

If I get really desperate and or depressed, with a lot depending on next year’s Presidential Elections, I could just sell up everything and dump myself on my two sons in England. I am quite sure they would take me in with open arms. The problem with that idea is that the main reason for moving to America in the first place was to get away from the constant cold and rain and I don’t suppose that even Global Warming has done much to change that. Then of course, the dogs would have to be quarantined for 6 months which is almost half a lifetime for both them and me.

What to do, what to do? If I still had a wife, she would have made the decision for me whether I liked it or not. As it is, and as much as they try, the dogs can’t seem to communicate enough to give me their views and in all probability, they can’t agree either. So, as has happened over these past 27 years, I will worry and fret over it wondering just what is the best way to go and if I’m really lucky, may even find an answer or literally die trying.

The one obvious and constant fact of all of these thoughts is that I will eventually and certainly die, time and place and method yet unknown but definitely not yet. I still have a lot of living to do someplace and anyway, I need to work out an answer to all of these questions before I do….

Written 9/10/2019

Comment on Wives


My previous blog about my wives,
Seems to have troubled many lives,
Some of the comments I have received,
Are both good and bad and some aggrieved,

The truth of the matter is, I am not sad,
Just sharing my life both good and bad,
If fate decrees for the rest of my life,
I shall never have another wife,

Please, understand that because I’m not sad,
and thank the Good Lord for the pleasures I’ve had,
with the three wives that have been in my life,
and the fact. there was little strife.

More than half of my life with these women I spent,
most of it, I was very content,
But again, I was still in my prime
and could handle their wishes most of the time,
I could adapt and readily did,
made adjustments that were not exactly the fit,
but close enough on the day,
for the way they wanted to play.

Nowadays it’s a different story,
I’m set in my ways and no longer the glory,
of having a wife to cause me a worry,
as I can no longer adapt to the flurry,
of wishes and demands set by a wife,
and that is why they are not in my life.

I am not sad…
Life is good…
Thanks anyway…

Leading a Bachelor’s life


and all it can bring…

Sitting here too hot to roam
or go outside and hike in the sun
instead writing about my life
free of strife as I have no wife
although I do have to admit
that not having one with me is a fit
as I do not share my life very well
by not falling under their spell
a typical bachelor’s life for me
and has been for a quarter century
and I have enjoyed the single life
because it has not had the strife
that living with others does present
a selfish man but so content
please I beg of you don’t get me wrong
I like girls but where they belong
which is not living along with me
but in their own space happy and free
it can be said that I’m already too old
for the physical pleasures that girls behold
with their beauty and grace and looks so sublime
promises of having a wonderful time
alas their beauty is all I can see
as the passing of time has caught up with me
my flesh is weak is all I can say
but the spirit is willing for some other way
it’s hell growing old it has to be said
so many things that no longer can do
but at least I have memories of years gone by
things that I can no longer try
and even though the spirit is willing
the flesh has grown weak and the passions are chilling.

Written 8/30/2019

Looking for Something To Do


Life is an uphill climb…

Looking for something to do
just what it is I haven’t a clue
as my eye has not yet perceived the task
and nothing springs to mind that lasts
the weather is too damn hot for work
with the temperatures at one hundred degrees
and everything outside working fine
with nothing pressing my time to assign
I feed the fish in the early morn
and check that everything works fine
and if it isn’t I add the task
to fix whatever is well-worn
the problem is there is too much heat
and has been like this for way too long
and all of the things that need repair
cannot keep as their need is strong
it seems to me I have little choice
but to go outside even though it is hot
to work as quickly as I can
and when I am finished I’m a happy man.

As We Grow Old


As we grow old we are sometimes alone
maybe through no fault of our own
and even in another life
we may even have had a wife
or two or three whatever the odds
and their actions mean we lost the toss
and even though they left us to go
and we grew too old and willing to roam
and had not the urge to pick up the phone
instead choosing to live alone
along with our pets who are our friends
who stay with us until their end
both dogs and cats are in that group
with one another in an endless loop
as such short lives they all do have
and when they are gone we are so sad
at losing yet another mate
whose love for us had been their fate
if I had one last request
it would be that at my behest
when I die and my soul moves on
and even if there is no song
I want it to be at the very same place
where all of my pets at their Pearly Gates
are waiting for me and welcome me home
and together we will never be alone
for the past twenty years my pets and I
have looked after each other with the lows and the highs
they have been there through good times and bad
and comforted me when I was sad
and carefully laid their chin on my knee
which was their way of comforting me
and in return I would stroke their fur
and the troubles would lessen with them being there
as I grow old with the passing years
and know that my end and all of my fears
will someday no longer be
and I hope then that my destiny
once young and vibrant and full of life
now old and wrinkled no longer in strife
my pets will still have someone to care
and look after them as I am not there
to give them the love that has been their life
and look after them without any strife
and even though their lives are short
this is one time that I have to report
that they could well outlive me
as my life fades into history.

For the love of a pet or in my case, many pets…

Written 4/15/2019



Birthdays


Another birthday has come and gone
just as it did last year
I hope that I can carry on
and next years will also appear
for each birthday represents a date
of time that is passing away
never ever to be regained
time lost with each passing day
I suppose that lost is not the right word
as memories we have gained
in all of those years that are now gone
none have ever been the same
each giving us a glimpse of wonders good and bad
as we go through life some happy and others sad
I have been on this earth for eighty three years
with all of it’s ups and downs
and I would like to see so many more
before the end is found
how many more birthdays will I see
how many years to add
how much more of Nature to enjoy
and memories both good and bad
of one thing I am very sure no matter what the end
the life I have lived is mine alone and for this I would like it extend
if I could ever do it again many changes I would make
but only in the way I lived not the person to forsake
for that man turned out alright the best that he could be
just an ordinary working guy enjoying life’s mysteries.

Written 2/4/2019




Thinking About Life – Mine…


DSC_2686

Peaceful

I got to thinking the other day
about my life and the way
I spend my days as I live alone
since my last wife did our marriage dethrone
It’s been 25 years since she walked out the door
and the bachelor life is easy to endure
no one telling me how to live my life
that’s the beauty of not having a wife
so I quickly did adjust my ways
to living alone as I spend my days
pottering around out in the yard
working away with disregard
for time has no real meaning to me
unless something special is on the TV
but then if there is I usually record
and watch at my leisure until I get bored
and then I find something else to do
like write a blog so that a few
of my writing friends can read all about
how I spend my day even without
any special plans although sometimes I do
when I want to go hiking I do pursue
some degree of a plan so that others may know
that they are welcome to join me and I’m not alone
other times I go for a drive
with an Audiobook the characters alive
in my head as I listen to figure the plot
I get it wrong more often than not
and I marvel at how the writer does think
as it twists and turns and finally links
and the good guy wins and gets the girl
and a happy ending as the story unfurls
you never can tell which way it will go
until the end of the story as the writer shows
I wish that I could write that way
instead I spend my literary day
writing bad poetry to keep me amused
until I can find the next thing to do
It’s already time to go to bed
the day has flown by and so instead
of doing what I usually do
tomorrow something different I will pursue
and have corn flakes for breakfast instead of the toast
and take the dogs for walk before I’m engrossed
in writing more stories in the form of a verse
to amuse myself how can it be worse
than doing what I normally do
which I can’t remember as I haven’t a clue
my brain is forgetful to say the least
as I spend my days in a happy release.

Written 6/23/2018