I woke up late this morning even for me. I have gotten into the habit of watching the TV until around midnight and then going to bed and unless I have an early morning appointment which, by the way, I try never to have, I don’t get up until 9:00 am. Nice to be retired and in charge of my own time.

Usually, the dogs will get me up to let them out but this morning, even they decided to sleep in probably because it was raining hard. Consequently, it was later than usual and around 10:00 am when I ambled off into the kitchen to open the sliding door to let them out. This is always my first job in the mornings and I am usually in my birthday suit. The dogs have seen me naked a lot of times so it no longer shocks them to see me walking around like that. Not that I make a habit of it but when needs must…

Mikey, as is the usual rule of things, accompanied me into the living room and stopped by the table staring at something on the floor. When I got closer, I could see that it was a large snake close to four feet long. First glance told me that it was probably a Rat Snake based on the color and the fact that the head shape was all wrong for it to be one of the poisonous variety. Other than the first surprise of seeing the snake, I acted remarkably calm and even had time to get my camera which admittedly was only a couple of steps away and took a few pictures. All of this time, Mikey was eying the snake just as puzzled as I was to see it indoors but he didn’t try to attack it as both Ginny and Richie would have done. Different breeds I guess.

The next thing was how to get it out of the house without hurting it as I had no intentions of killing it. Neither was I planning on sharing my house with it for any length of time. I didn’t want to scare it off under some piece of furniture which would make it difficult to get to so I grabbed the first thing close at hand which was a long handled dust brush, the kind that has a long handled dustpan to go along with it. I opened the back door and proceeded to try and literally sweep the snake out of the door. Well, the snake is not like dust and it would not slide very well on the tiled floors. It kept wrapping itself around the brush handle and one time, I almost flipped it back onto myself. Don’t forget, I was totally naked as I battled this monster snake so was especially wary.  Modesty was not a problem but tangling in hand to hand combat with no clothes on was especially daunting.  I had the dickens of a time as it tried to go one way and I tried to make it go the other. I eventually got it pointing in the right direction and it slithered out the door to disappear into a pile of firewood.

Mikey was suddenly brave and bold with the snake gone and chased and sniffed around until he was satisfied that it was safe for him to walk around. What a chicken but on the other hand, I would rather he stay away from snakes as the next one could be lethal. Ginny, who would have attacked the snake was still in bed and missed all of the fun.

I have no idea how the snake got in as the doggy door fits pretty snug as do the outside doors and neither do I know how long it was in the house prior to making an appearance.  It could have come in earlier in the evening when the doggy door was out and we were watching TV. We being me and the dogs although they don’t do much watching but they are up on the couch with me.

It is a bit troubling that I have seen so many snakes in the garden already this year. More than I have ever seen in the 34 years I have lived here. Now, I will have to look ahead at everything in the house as I do in the garden before sticking my feet anywhere.

BTW, this is the first snake in the house that I know of. I did have an Opossum get in the doggy door at my old house way out in the country many years ago but that is a different story.

Talk about Snakes on a Plane, how about Snakes in the House…

Written 7/9/2018